Please sort out your organisational skills, as this post is extremely late! (Sorry Leah!!)
We have been through quite a lot. With those nasty negative thoughts constantly floating around up there. I’m fighting to save us though, because you mean a lot to me.
You have been conditioned to believe negative things about yourself, but who’s t say they are true? Remember when we were in primary school we thought there was something wrong with us, that we didn’t deserve to have friends or be spoken to. Recently we discovered that that’s bullshit. We deserve the same as everyone else. We were different but we weren’t aliens like we thought we were. We had social anxiety, and couldn’t act “normal”. But who cares?! Our weirdness has brought us into contact with some awesome people. We’ve met great friends in real life and the social anxiety forums, and the love of my life – who is a truly great person. So being crazy’s not a completely bad thing!
From a young age your brain has been amazing. You didn’t think so but it was. We could read brilliantly from the age of six (although I do remember we would get really frustrated at slow readers in school!), we could draw amazing pictures and write great poetry.
I love the dreams I have, thanks to you. Good or bad, they are always like the best movies ever – now if only I could record them… or stop confusing dreams with memories…. I used to be able to lucid dream. I think I still can, but it doesn’t happen as often. Also I’d appreciate it if you would stop dreaming about me naked, thanks.
Now… Lets get physical. (Damn, that’s another song stuck in my head…). Okay, so we’ll start with the face. I’m so lucky to have my genes. My whole family look young. My 70-odd year old grandmother is often told she looks like she’s in her forties.
Here’s to never aging!!
PS. Thanks for being so good with a camera. Although, my selfie syndrome is something to worry about…
The eyes. Those big deep blue eyes. I love them. They are like diamonds to me and I’ve received many compliments on them. My uncle always joked that he’d steal them. We have blonde eyelashes – even though my hair is naturally dark brown (what the hell is up with that?!). Because of this, I refuse to leave the house without either mascara, or glasses. Otherwise I feel naked. I still like the eyes though, especially when my pupils go huge. Lets not forget that without them, I wouldn’t be able to read or enjoy TV.
Our nose… Its the perfect size and shape, and it can smell the loveliest smells. I live for nice smells!
The mouth. We have thick lips that look amazing with lip liner. I love experimenting with different lip colours too. We have a nice smile and laugh a lot. Im really enjoy laughing.
My favourite thing of all is the hair. Its a bitch to take care of but I love dying it. So far, I adore being a redhead. My hair is my identity!
The best thing about you though, is that you’re a survivor. Not just that, but you’re powered by pure love. You have to deal with so many horrible memories and have been affected to the point of wanting to end it all. But even at your lowest point, you thought of those you love, and didn’t go through with it. I know how much you wanted it, but you couldn’t do it. That shows a lot of strength, even if it doesn’t seem that way.
Thank you for letting me live, and I hope the negative thoughts stop for you soon.
Your Grateful ally,