Confession: I Laugh At My Own Jokes. And its not the reason you think.

I’m one of those people.

One of those people who laughs at her own jokes. One of those who does a fake sounding laugh at the end of telling a funny story.

I’m pathetic.

Before you get a bad impression of me, allow me to explain myself. I do not think I have “the best sense of humour of all time”. I don’t love myself. I have social anxiety. Its pretty damn severe too!

While I’m not 100% sure of why I laugh at my own jokes, I believe I have a pretty good idea of possible reasons.:

  • I am laughing to fill the awkward silence that may or may not occur. I think my subconscious is in crisis preparation mode, and anyone with SA will tell you, an awkward silence is always a crisis.
  • I’m secretly hoping you’ll join in. You know, ’cause some people might be uncomfortable laughing on their own. This means I’m usually that person.
  • I’m actually crying. This one is entirely possible. I get so anxious trying to be funny I’m close to tears. So I try disguise my “please let me die” cry with a laugh. Its kind of like how I make fun of myself. I’m really crying inside

Laughing at jokes is, in my opinion, not a personality flaw. It’s a coping method. And while I really wish I didn’t do it, I’m not going to hate myself for it.

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